Understanding PTSD: When the Past Lives in Your Body
Key Insights
PTSD is a nervous system response = your body gets stuck in survival mode
Trauma lives in the body = physical symptoms are as important as psychological ones
Safety first, processing later = healing requires nervous system regulation before memory work
Integration, not elimination = the goal is living with your experience, not erasing it
There is something about traumatic experience that is uniquely disruptive. Whereas normal stressors don't create significant shifts in life experience, trauma is different, after something traumatic we are fundamentally altered, often in ways that are confusing and don't make sense. Trauma is not something you can simply decide to "get over." It's particularly difficult to work through on your own, because so much of its effect lives on unconsciously, in the nervous system and in the body and in the implicit memory patterns that operate below conscious awareness. Trauma work requires an approach that is not just psychological, it needs to incorporate working with these implicit memories as they feature in the feelings in the body.
That can sound confusing so let's explore it..
What PTSD Really Is
Gabor Maté offers a crucial insight: "Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you." This distinction is key to understanding why trauma has such lasting effects and how change is possible.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder develops when a person's natural coping capacity is overwhelmed by an experience that threatens their physical or psychological safety. What many people don't realize is that PTSD isn't just about the traumatic event itself, it's about how that event disrupts your fundamental sense of safety, self, and connection to others.
Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning. They call into question basic human relationships, breaching the attachments that sustain us and shattering the construction of self that is formed in relation to others.
This is why trauma symptoms persist, they reflect not just the memory of what happened, but the fundamental disruption to your capacity for trust, connection, and feeling safe in your own body.
Understanding PTSD: The Three Core Responses
Trauma specialist Judith Herman identified three main categories of post-traumatic stress symptoms that capture how the nervous system responds to overwhelming experience:
Hyperarousal: The persistent expectation of danger - being easily startled, hypervigilant, difficulty sleeping, feeling constantly on edge
Intrusion: The indelible imprint of the traumatic moment - flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive memories, sudden emotional flooding
Constriction: The numbing response of surrender - emotional disconnection, feeling detached from others, difficulty accessing feelings
How Trauma Lives in the Body
What struck me most in working with trauma is how much it lives in the body, not just in memory. As Judith Hermanexplains, 'Traumatic memories lack verbal narrative and context; rather, they are encoded in the form of vivid sensations and images.'
This explains why people describe feeling "jumpy," having their heart race for no apparent reason, or experiencing sudden visual flashes or body memories. The trauma isn't stored as a coherent story you can simply talk through, it's held as fragments of sensation, image, and bodily response that can be triggered without warning.
Some feel constantly tense, as if bracing for impact. Others describe feeling "not quite in their body" or watching life from a distance. These aren't psychological symptoms, they're neurobiological responses to how traumatic experience gets encoded in the nervous system. Your nervous system holds the memory of threat even when your thinking mind knows you're safe.
I've learned that working with trauma means working with the whole person, not just their thoughts and feelings, but their nervous system, their breathing, their sense of safety in their own body. This is why I often integrate acupuncture with counselling.
Acupuncture can help regulate the nervous system and support feelings of calm and relaxation
The Myth of "Getting Over It"
Our culture promotes a damaging myth about trauma recovery: that it's about "getting over it," "moving on," or "leaving the past behind." This approach treats trauma as something external that happened to you, a fixed piece of history that can never be changed.
But Gabor Maté offers a different perspective: "If we treat trauma as an external event, something that happens to or around us, then it becomes a piece of history we can never dislodge. If, on the other hand, trauma is what took place inside us as a result of what happened, in the sense of wounding or disconnection, then healing and reconnection become tangible possibilities."
This is an important shift in understanding. It means that while we can't change what happened, we can work with how it affected us internally. Healing becomes possible because trauma is not the event itself, but our relationship to that event and how it lives within us.
Maté provides a practical framework for understanding whether something constitutes ongoing trauma. Trauma persists when experiences continue to:
- Limit, constrict, or diminish your capacity to feel, think, trust, or assert yourself
- Keep you from holding pain, sorrow, and fear without being overwhelmed or needing to escape into compulsive behaviors
- Leave you compelled to either aggrandize or efface yourself to gain acceptance
- Impair your capacity to experience gratitude for life's beauty and wonder
- Healing from trauma isn't about erasing what happened or returning to who you were before. It's about reclaiming your capacity for connection, choice, and authentic self-expression.
Safety Before Processing
One of the most important things I've learned about trauma work is that feeling safe comes before remembering. Many people think they need to dive into their traumatic memories immediately, but this can actually re-traumatize if the nervous system isn't ready.
The first phase of trauma work involves what we call stabilization, helping your nervous system remember what safety feels like. This might involve:
- Learning to notice when you're triggered and developing ways to calm your nervous system. Understanding how trauma shows up in your body and developing somatic awareness. Building resources and coping strategies before approaching difficult memories. Strengthening your sense of being present and grounded in the here and now.
Only when there's a foundation of safety and regulation do we gradually approach the traumatic material itself. And even then, it's done carefully, at your pace, with constant attention to keeping you within your "window of tolerance."
The Window of Tolerance
This concept describes the zone where you can feel emotions without being overwhelmed by them or shutting down completely. Think of it as your emotional coping zone.
When you're within your window of tolerance, you can think clearly, feel your emotions, and make good decisions. When trauma pushes you outside this window, you might become hyperaroused (anxious, panicked, overwhelmed) or hypoaroused (numb, disconnected, spaced out).
Trauma therapy involves gradually expanding this window, increasing your capacity to stay present and regulated even when difficult material arises.
Signs Your Nervous System May Still Be Stuck in Survival Mode
- Feeling constantly on edge or easily startled
- Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
- Emotional numbness or disconnection from others
- Physical symptoms with no clear medical cause
- Feeling like you're watching life from outside yourself
- Extreme reactions to reminders of the trauma
- Difficulty trusting others or feeling safe in relationships
How I Work with Trauma
My approach integrates several modalities because trauma affects every aspect of human experience:
Somatic awareness: Paying attention to how trauma lives in your body and learning to regulate your nervous system through presence and mindfulness
Gestalt therapy: Working with how past experiences show up in present relationships and developing awareness of your patterns and defenses.
Acupuncture: Supporting nervous system regulation in promoting calm
Attachment-informed therapy: Understanding how trauma affects your ability to connect with others and rebuilding capacity for safe intimacy.
I work slowly and collaboratively, always respecting your pace. You won't be pushed to talk about details before you're ready. Safety and trust come first, always.
Integration, Not Elimination
What I've learned through this work is that healing from trauma doesn't mean the experience disappears or stops mattering. It means developing a different relationship with what happened, one where the past informs your present without controlling it.
People often ask me, "Will I ever be the same?" The honest answer is no, and that's not necessarily the goal. Trauma changes us, but it doesn't have to destroy us. Many people discover strengths, depths, and capacities they never knew they had through the process of working with their traumatic experience.
The goal isn't to erase your story but to reclaim authorship of it, to be someone who has been through something difficult and learned to live well with it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What types of trauma can cause PTSD?
PTSD can develop from any experience that overwhelms your capacity to cope: accidents, violence, abuse, a dysfunctional family, medical trauma, sudden loss or even witnessing traumatic events. There's no hierarchy of trauma, what matters is the impact on your nervous system.
How long does trauma therapy take?
This varies greatly depending on the person and the nature of their trauma. Some people notice improvements in nervous system regulation within weeks, while deeper integration typically takes months or longer. The process is individual and can't be rushed.
What if I can't remember details of my trauma?
Not remembering details is common and doesn't prevent healing. Trauma work often focuses more on how the experience lives in your body and nervous system than on recovering specific memories.
Will talking about trauma make it worse?
With proper pacing and safety measures, therapy should help you feel more regulated, not less. A trauma-informed therapist will always prioritize your nervous system stability over processing memories.
How do I know if I have PTSD or just normal stress?
PTSD symptoms persist for more than a month and significantly interfere with daily life. If you're questioning whether your responses are normal, it's worth speaking to a professional who can help you understand your experience.
Can PTSD be fully healed?
While PTSD symptoms can significantly improve, many people prefer to think of trauma work as integration rather than cure. You can learn to live well with your experience and reclaim your sense of safety and connection.
If you're struggling with trauma symptoms and ready to explore healing:
I offer trauma-informed therapy in Berkhamsted that integrates counselling with somatic awareness and acupuncture to support nervous system regulation and psychological healing.
Phone: 07717 515 013
Email: sean@seanheneghan.com
Located at: Berkhamsted Chiropractic Clinic, 69 High Street, Berkhamsted
References and Suggested Reading
Herman, J. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.
Maté, G. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. Avery.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
About Sean Heneghan - Trauma Therapist in Berkhamsted
Sean Heneghan is a BACP registered counsellor and member of The British Acupuncture Council serving Berkhamsted for over 20 years. He offers an integrative approach combining trauma-informed therapy with acupuncture to support nervous system regulation and post-traumatic growth.
Services include:
Trauma-informed Gestalt counselling
Traditional acupuncture for nervous system support
Support for PTSD, complex trauma, and trauma-related anxiety
Serving Berkhamsted, Tring, Hemel Hempstead, St Albans, and the wider Hertfordshire area.