Should everyone have therapy? - Therapy in Berkhamsted with Sean Heneghan
"Do you think everyone should have counselling?" is a question I'm often asked, and my answer often garners a quizzical response. It's assumed that since I'm a therapist I must think everyone should have therapy, but this isn't the case. After twenty years of practice in Berkhamsted, I've come to understand that counselling isn't a universal remedy t's something much more specific and, I would argue, more valuable.
What Counselling Really Is
I think counselling is for people who are interested in having a particular kind of conversation conversation being essentially what counselling is. It's an exploratory, open kind of dialogue that flows back and forth, typically deepening as it progresses, with a focus on making the kind of discoveries about yourself that are likely to make a difference in the area you're struggling with.
Such a conversation builds over time into a warm, supportive and non-judgmental relationship, in which you get a chance to explore yourself in a way that promotes a deeper understanding of yourself and an increased capacity to live well with the emotional challenges of life. But here's the thing: the level of interest that people have for this kind of conversation is hugely variable.
The Curiosity Factor
Some people are naturally curious about themselves and want to read, talk, and explore their inner life. For other people, it's a much less enticing prospect. If someone really wasn't interested in having the kind of conversation that's geared toward a deeper understanding of themselves, that lack of interest should be respected.
A conversation, after all, requires two participants, and there is no conversation to be had if one party really doesn't want to be involved in it. In this sense, I think counselling is not something people should be forced into—it's something to be offered.
Common Misconceptions About Therapy
It's sometimes assumed that counselling is a kind of thing that's "done" by a therapist to a client, as if counselling were a set of instructions or something taught. While counselling may involve aspects of dialogue that are informative or educational, there's nothing instructional about it.
Collaboration vs. Authority
Effective therapy is mutual and collaborative rather than hierarchical and authoritarian. There is, after all, no set of instructions about how you should live your life, and I would say good therapy helps you discover the depths of what you think and feel rather than trying to get you to feel some particular way.
Counselling is typically a process of tentative and supportive discovery, populated, when it's successful, by surprise and novelty. For me, it's valuable because it helps you discover those aspects of yourself that reside out of your conscious awareness—parts that you're unlikely to find by yourself.
Who Benefits Most from Counselling?
In my experience working with people in Berkhamsted, those who benefit most from counselling share certain characteristics:
Natural Self-Reflection: They're already somewhat curious about their inner lives and patterns, even if they're struggling to understand them.
Willingness to Explore: They're open to the possibility that their difficulties might have deeper roots than immediately apparent.
Tolerance for Uncertainty: They can sit with not knowing and allow discoveries to emerge rather than demanding immediate answers.
Authentic Motivation: They're seeking therapy because they genuinely want to understand themselves better, not because someone else thinks they should.
When Counselling Might Not Be Right
Conversely, counselling may not be beneficial for people who:
- Are looking for specific advice or instructions on how to live
- Want someone else to solve their problems for them
- Are attending only because of external pressure
- Have no interest in exploring their inner experience
- Prefer action-oriented solutions to reflective approaches
The Unique Value of Therapeutic Conversation
What makes therapeutic conversation different from talking to friends or family is the quality of attention and the depth of exploration it allows. In ordinary social interactions, we're often focused on being helpful, offering solutions, or sharing our own experiences. In therapy, the entire conversation is dedicated to understanding your experience more fully.
The Discovery Process
This kind of focused exploration often reveals things that surprise people. Patterns they weren't aware of, connections between past experiences and current difficulties, or emotions they didn't realize they were carrying. It's this element of discovery that makes counselling valuable, not the advice or techniques, but the opportunity to see yourself more clearly.
In my practice, I've noticed that people often say things like "I never realized I felt that way" or "I didn't see that connection before." These moments of recognition can be profoundly shifting, not because someone has told them what to think or feel, but because they've discovered something true about their own experience.
The Question of Universal Therapy
So should everyone have counselling? No, not if they are fundamentally not interested in the kind of dialogue it entails. But for those people who are curious about themselves, it can be a vital part of psychological and emotional health.
Who Might Benefit
You might find counselling valuable if you:
- Notice recurring patterns in your relationships or emotional responses
- Feel curious about why you react certain ways to situations
- Want to understand the connection between past experiences and current struggles
- Seek deeper self-awareness and personal growth
- Feel drawn to reflective rather than purely action-oriented approaches
- Value the opportunity for sustained, focused self-exploration
What to Expect from Counselling
If you're considering counselling, it's worth understanding what you're embarking on. Effective therapy is not a quick fix but a process of gradual discovery and understanding. It requires patience, curiosity, and a willingness to sit with uncertainty while insights develop.
The relationship with your therapist becomes a laboratory for exploring how you relate to others, how you handle difficult emotions, and what patterns might be limiting your capacity for satisfaction and connection. This exploration happens through conversation, but conversation of a particular quality— sustained, focused, and dedicated to understanding rather than solving.
Making the Decision
The decision to seek counselling should come from your own curiosity and desire for understanding rather than external pressure or the assumption that "everyone should do it." Good therapy begins with your own motivation to explore and discover.
If you find yourself genuinely curious about your inner life, interested in understanding your patterns and reactions, and drawn to the possibility of deeper self-awareness, then counselling might be valuable for you. If these things don't appeal to you, that's perfectly valid too not everyone needs to be interested in this kind of exploration.
Getting Started
If you're curious, the first step is simply getting in touch to have an initial conversation. This allows us both to explore whether we're a good fit and whether the kind of work I offer aligns with what you're seeking.
Phone: 07717 515 013
Email: sean@seanheneghan.com
Located at: Berkhamsted Chiropractic Clinic, 69 High Street, Berkhamsted
Available Monday to Friday with both daytime and evening appointments.
Article last updated: July 2025
Sean Heneghan is a BACP registered counsellor who has been serving the Berkhamsted community for over 20 years. He offers an integrative approach to therapy that honors each individual's unique path to understanding and growth. Sean is also a cognitive hypnotherapist and a traditional acupuncturist