Counselling for anger management in Berkhamsted
Of all the feelings we can become stuck with anger can be one of the most troublesome for a variety of different reasons. There’s a volatility and explosiveness to anger that makes it one of the most difficult feelings for other people to deal with, as such its capacity to alienate the person suffering with anger is much more pronounced than with other painful feelings. If somebody is overcome with sadness this presents a challenge to the people close to them, but it’s not the same kind of challenge as dealing with somebody that’s angry that in turn may be violent, abusive, or aggressive. Because anger often leads to destructive behaviour, its expression often arouses fear in others and as such it has an anti social component that other emotions don’t engender. This leads to less environmental support around for the sufferer which can leave that person alone and isolated. Such alienation can lead to a vicious circle which is difficult to break out of. It’s common for people struggling with their temper to go through cycles of feelings which involve anger, regret, guilt, shame, and hopelessness as they struggle to find new or different ways to manage and express the intense feelings aroused in them. It’s often difficult for people to see, but underneath anger there is often intense vulnerability, hurt and pain which is obscured by the aggression on the surface.
Counselling for anger management can have dramatic effects on how the whole cycle operates. First and foremost counselling affords somebody the space to express and explore how they feel. Being listened to without censorship, judgement or instruction is a unique experience that doesn’t happen much in life. Often if people are listened to deeply and are given a chance to express the frustration that’s inside the general level of frustration that’s pent up can have a chance to diminish. As this happens repeatedly over time and the process goes deeper it becomes possible to discover more about what might be underneath the anger on the surface. This leads to the person discovering aspects of their experience they were unaware of. This process of making connections between experiences and feelings helps to re-establish a persons emotional self regulation which leads to a greater experience of balance and calmness. Often through the counselling process people report an increased ability to experience and manage their emotional life in more productive ways.
Anger can be one of many feelings that are generated when needs that are deeper or more unconscious are endangered, unmet or threatened. There’s no simple rule when it comes to being human but by and large when our needs are met we are relatively untroubled and at ease. As our needs become threatened or obstructed a whole lost of feelings are aroused whose purpose is to motivate us to take action and restore balance. The origin of the word emotion is from the latin emovere, ‘to move’. Animals will become angry often in response to threat and in this respect anger is a natural occurence whose function is protective. The process is more complex in us but equally so, anger is an important and necessary experience that when in balance helps safe guard life. Counselling for anger management is not about banishing anger. Frustration can’t be abolished, but how it can be experienced and expressed can change drastically from unproductive and damaging ways to more healthy forms of experience and expression.
If you’re struggling with anger or are looking for counselling for anger management in berkhamsted please feel free to get in touch with any questions you might have.